Award-winning Nigerian singer Tems has opened up about a deeply personal chapter of her life, shedding light on her experience in a toxic relationship marked by obsession and control.
The “Essence” crooner made the revelation during a candid conversation with renowned media personality Angie Martinez, where she spoke frankly about the emotional toll such relationships can take.
Tems explained that the relationship she once believed to be rooted in love was, in reality, defined by possessiveness and an unhealthy desire for control.
Reflecting on the experience, the singer emphasized that it contradicted her core beliefs about what love should represent. According to her, a healthy relationship should be built on mutual respect and partnership—not ownership. She noted that her former partner exhibited obsessive tendencies, often acting as though he had ownership over her, a dynamic she now firmly rejects.
Tems further highlighted the often-overlooked nature of toxic relationships, pointing out that individuals who display harmful behaviors are sometimes unaware of their actions. This, she said, makes such relationships even more emotionally draining, as the toxicity is neither acknowledged nor addressed.
Drawing from her personal journey, the Grammy-winning artist stressed that love should never be equated with control or possession. Instead, she described true love as a union of equals—two individuals coming together in harmony without losing their individuality or autonomy.
“I have experienced what I thought was love, but it felt more like someone trying to own me,” she said. “That’s not love. Love is not obsession or possession.”
Her remarks have since resonated with fans, many of whom have praised her honesty and vulnerability.
By sharing her story, Tems adds her voice to the growing conversation around emotional health and the importance of recognizing and walking away from toxic relationships.
WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW
Tems emphasizes that true love is built on mutual respect and partnership—not control or possession—urging people to recognize and walk away from toxic relationships, even when they are disguised as love.
